Eckhart Tolle just nailed my disorganized state in The New Earth. These thoughts are from Chapter 5 on the emotions.
He defines emotion as the body’s reaction to the mind. So you have a thought or perceive a situation and then your body responds to that stimulus with emotion. We can become as identified to our emotions as we can with our thought, thinking that is who we are. And in a weird way, we end up manifesting this false sense of ourselves in our physical bodies.
This is the crux of my disorder. I worry about something. Well, to be more thruthful, I don’t just worry. I create in my mind every worst case scenario I can imagine. This happens so naturally for me. They just pop into my mind like a 80s hit or tv jingle. And then I expound. Exponentially. I can burn down a whole forest with one match.
Tolle says that as intelligent as it is, the body CANNOT tell the difference between what you are thinking and what is actually happening. So every time I told myself a worst case scenario, the stress response went off as if that were the truth and I manifested a nice case of PTSD, without ever having to endure an actual trauma!! No wonder the war vets who have experienced primal fear and incomprehensible violence have such a hard time recovering. Their past becomes their present every time they relive a memory, and the physical body acts as if it is still there, fighting for it’s life.
Once we give ourselves over to the emotion, or become identified with it, it disrupts the natural movements and processes of our body intelligence. In other words, we become disorganized. So there it is: my life story and struggle in a few paragraphs. It actually doesn’t feel so insurmountable reduced to that concept. Whatever the problem is, the solution is always the same. Peel back the layers of emotion and thought until you get to that place of presence. Or even more simple: Just Be. Period.